The Website Theme Preoccupation

I need some toothpicks to keep my eyes open today.  The reason?  My website; or more accurately, my website theme.  I needed something perfect, and it's pretty much all I've thought about the entire week. 

I became obsessed.  Bec-style obsessed.  Think Gollum in a purple dressing gown obsessed. 

The menus in particular were an issue. 

"No! It needs to be clean!"
"It's a menu..."
"It's the most important thing!"
"Okaaaay then..."

The same thing happened with the author boxes at the bottom of the posts.

The same thing happened with the colours.

And everything else.

Finally, finally I found a solution in the form of a website theme builder.  Perfect!  And I was up until 5am playing with it.

I wonder what the next thing I'll obsess over will be.

You can check out the website here: MillarPress.com

The streak plate challenge of 2011

This was originally posted on an old blog of mine back in 2011.  As I am in the process of consolidating all my writing, I am posting it here.  And no, a dog's mouth is not cleaner than human hands.

There are always those questions in life which, when confronted with them, leave you pondering before a fierce determination sets in to find the answer.  Some of these questions have led the most impressive scientific minds in history to dedicate their lives to seeking the answers, and thus adding to the knowledge pool of science and humanity.

For Albert Einstein it was "what does E equal?" which lead to the famous equation  E = mc² and his theory of relativity.

For Isaac Newton it was "why did that bloody apple hit me on the head*?!" which lead to his apple analogy and the discovery of gravity.

And for Marie Curie it was "I wonder what will happen if I play with polonium and radium?" which lead to her winning Nobel Prizes in both chemistry and physics before dying a horrible radiation related death, her cookbooks being sealed in lead lined boxes and having the 96th element (curium) named after her and her husband.  Though why you'd want to go to the effort of putting on a radiation suit just so you can go through Marie Curie's cookbooks is a little beyond me...

So in the pursuit of science and knowledge, and with the help of a friend, I am going to dedicate a few weeks of my life to answering one of life's great questions...

Is a dog's mouth cleaner than human hands?

I'm looking forward to busting out the agar and swabs and brushing up on my rusty steak plating techniques to bring mankind the answer to the question nobody wants to know.

So stay tuned for the results, cos I'm about to get my science geek on!

*the apple didn't actually hit Newton on the head.  He watched it fall from a tree, it's just usually depicted in the former.

The genuis of xkcd

This was originally posted back in 2011 on another blog I had.  As I am in the process of consolidating all my writing, I am posting it here.  Even though, by now, you all know how obsessed I am with xkcd:

 

I am completely obsessed with xkcd, a web comic written by what is probably the funniest physicist in the known universe.  Not only do I enjoy it because it's full of science in-jokes, but because it shares my fear of velociraptor attacks, it's hysterically funny and even did a cross over with my other favourite comic, Calvin and Hobbes.  And since they allow you to put a few of their comics on your blog, I'm going to share some of my favourites with you.

This is so something I'd do...

I was in absolute hysterics over this one, especially since it reminds me of the "stick figures of death" comics my sister and I used to make.

The Spock-Five conditioning paradigm

A funny thing has been happening to me over the last few weeks.  I made the decision to give up high fiving people, and instead replaced a 'high five' with a 'Spock-Five!'.  Which is essentially the exact same thing, except you make a Vulcan hand salute first and say 'Spock-Five!' either before or after.

I thought my friends and family would ignore this latest insanity.  They usually do.

But then a few of them started Spock-Fiving me.

So I thought to myself 'what the hell, this is totally going to become a thing.  I will condition them to accept Spock-Five as normal behaviour and it will be awesome'.

And lo and behold, in my familial and friend circles, it has now become the acceptable practice.

Step one is complete.

Now I just need to take it to a global scale and have the entire world Spock-Fiving each other; or at least the trekkie world.

Now that would be cool!

Missing Wrath of Khan makes me go all Wrath of Khan

Last night I most definitely got my Wrath of Khan on.

At 4:30pm I discovered that the Astor Theatre was playing a double feature; Wrath of Khan and Into Darkness.  The theatre, which was opened in 1936, is seriously awesome and I've been dying to go back and see something there for a long time.

But three hours notice is not enough to sort out a babysitter and bribe somebody to come with me/drive me to the theatre.

So I missed out.

And I was angry at it.  All night I was stomping around yelling 'from hell's heart I stab at thee, people who wouldn't see Star Trek with me!'.

In retrospect it may have been a tad irrational.

I think I need to get some more Trekkie friends too, then I wouldn't have to bribe them to come see Trek-tastic things with me like I do the rest of my friends!

Don't tell me Wrath of Khan is on tv then expect me NOT to quote it!

It's been a Star Trek kind of day today (but then again, when is it ever not a Star Trek kind of day when I'm around?).  First, this popped up in my facebook newsfeed:

Well played, facebook.  Well played.

And of course, I couldn't let this go without being lame and commenting on my own status update in relation to this image "I have been... and always shall be... your friend... live long and prosper.  RESISTANCE WAS FUTILE!".

And then there was this conversation later on:

Mum: Bec, Wrath of Khan is on tv followed by The Search for Spock.
Me: He tasks me! He tasks me and I shall have him! I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up!
Mum: What the fu...
Me: FROM HELL'S HEART I STAB AT THEE! FOR HATE'S SAKE I SPIT MY LAST BREATH AT THEE!
Mum: Exactly how many times have you seen Wrath of Khan?
Me: I dunno, like three? That's all from Moby Dick.
Mum: And how many times have you read that?
Me: Once. Hey mum? I have been...and always shall be... your friend.

At which point she walks off in disgust while I yell out 'live long and prosper' at her.

But honestly, she was the fool who brought up Wrath of Khan.  She should know that it's all she's going to hear for the next week or so!

Pretty new laptop :D

School holidays are driving me absolutely batty!  It's not so much that kids are off school, it's the fact that my internet connection is -insert nice word for total crap here- as it is, but when you have 30,000 kids using up the limited network we have in this suburb, it makes it next to impossible to get any work done (I work exclusively online).  

/end rant.

In other news I finally got a new laptop, a nice, shiny, HP with 8GB of RAM and a 15.6" screen (making it perfect for when I misplace my glasses!).  Actually buying the laptop was an interesting experience.  Despite being Queen Geek, I've never really been into technology (sacrilegious!).  In saying that though, I've never really needed it until I began working as a clinical innovation specialist.  In addition to that, one of my personality quirks is that I hate not knowing things.  So when my old laptop died, and I started looking at getting a new one, I was faced with the dilemma of trying to figure out what I wanted and what I needed in terms of things like memory etc. 

Me being me, I went overboard and suddenly a whole new world opened up to me.  A world filled with Intel Quad Core processors, ASUS motherboards, and 16GB of RAM.  

In what I can only term a fit of sheer insanity, I decided I would opt for a "cheap" laptop, and build an actual desktop computer.  But I digress.  Basically, I got all super enthusiastic about computer components which means for the first time ever, I actually knew what I wanted in a laptop when I went shopping for it.

The sales person approached me, and instead of trying to sell me a piece of crap laptop that would die in a year, I started asking about specs and debating whether 8GB of RAM was worth sacrificing an Intel processor for.  And suddenly, the whole shopping experience changed.  There was no hassling me about buying crappy antivirus software that would drive me insane, there was no ripping me off, and best of all there was no trying to sell me crappy products! 

It was freaking awesome!  

As for the computer I'm going to be building, I can't wait for that either! 

Exterminating arachnids, Wrath of Khan style

I think my whole quoting Wrath of Khan thing this week is getting a tad out of control.

The second worst kept secret in the universe is that I absolutely loathe arachnids.  To the point that my hatred of them extends to loathing crabs because they have similar leg joints and move in a similar fashion.

This is an issue, given that I live in Australia where arachnids are plentiful and seriously effing scary.  They also refuse to die.  No joke, these things are like Superman - faster than speeding bullets, and immune to everything bar Kryptonite.

Last night I discovered a huge whitetail on my bathroom door.  After some mild hysteria, I managed to get my crap together long enough to grab the bug spray.  And when I say bug spray, I mean industrial strength, fast kill bug spray which is marketed as rendering any form of insect or arachnid dead with one small spray.  Clearly this was not developed in Australia, because it was utterly useless in killing the filthy arachnid.

So I stood there spraying it, and shrieking "DIE ARACHNID, DIE! HE TASKS ME! HE TASKS ME! FROM HELL'S HEART I STAB AT THEE!"

Yes.  I decided that quoting Wrath of Khan while attempting to exterminate it would be more effective.

It was not.

I used the remaining spray in the can on it, and it was still moving.  Specifically, it was still moving towards me.

Eventually it met its demise, thanks to the aid of a thong (flip flop for non-Aussie readers).  And the lesson in all of this?  Don't waste time quoting Star Trek at arachnids.  It doesn't kill them quicker, and it actually seems to piss them off more than anything else.

The best thing about being a geeky parent

Without a doubt, the best thing about being a geeky parent is the fact that I can indulge my love of all things geeky and not deal with any buyers remorse, because I can buy things for my daughter.

Some of my favourites:

My addiction to buying Star Trek related onesies is still going strong!  The science officer outfit was from ThinkGeek, and the other two I ordered off cafepress.

These were part of the "Trekmas" presents last year.  In the top left are TOS cloth nappies.  Even my child's butt has to be geeked out!

More ThinkGeek purchases.  The green thing is a plush microbe - Malaria to be specific.  We named her "Mary Malaria"

Best. Bathrobe. Ever.

Photo Credit: Think Geek

Set phasers to AWESOME!!

Found this bathrobe on Think Geek and I've totally found my own Christmas present!

Best. Bathrobe. EVER.

View the product here:

Think Geek: Star Trek Next Generation Robes

Random Things I Think About

I wrote this way back at the start of 2011 so thought I would share it now:
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In my spare time, usually when I'm supposed to be writing or studying, I often spend hours thinking about things which in all likelihood will never happen.  But still it's good to be organised, no matter how implausible the scenario may be.  Here are the top ten things I think about when I'm supposed to be doing something productive:

10.  If I were on death row, what would be my last meal choice?

I can spend hours debating this one with myself, despite the fact that Australia has no death penalty and probably never will.  Usually I manage to eliminate all choices down to two: the pasta I had at this delightful little cafe just down from the Colosseum in Rome and a really good curry.  Of course the two are vastly different and don't go together, so I'd need to pick just one... and I never can.  What if I make the wrong choice? (This too can lead to several more hours of internal debate).

9.  What would I do if an unfriendly extraterrestrial civilisation decided to colonise Earth?

This is not as ridiculous as it seems.  A professor of Astronomy and Astrophysics actually formulated an equation to estimate the number of extraterrestrial civilisations in the Milky Way for the SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) project whereby the number of civillisations in our galaxy in which communication may be possible equals the average rate of star formation per year in our galaxy by the fraction of those stars which have planets by the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets by the fraction of those stars which have planets by the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets which actually go on to develop life at some point by the fraction of those stars which have planets by the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets which actually go on to develop life at some point and that then go on to develop intelligent life by the fraction of civillisations that develop a technology that releases detectable signs of their existence into space by the length of time for which such civillisations release detectable signals into space.

Does your brain hurt yet?  If so, this can be simplified mathematically by the Drake Equation which expresses the above so much more eloquently:

My point is, that they're out there (because if it can be proven mathematically, in my mind it becomes fact).  So who is to say they won't one day decide to go all Independence Day on our asses?  And if they do, then I firmly believe I should have a contingency plan.

Of course I usually get distracted by something else (more often than not by watching Independence Day), so I'm yet to actually formulate the aforementioned contingency plan.  But still, I feel I should have one...

8.  What are the chances of surviving a plane crash?  And is there anyway I can improve those chances?

Ok, so I watch too much Air Crash Investigation (and I'm starting to think that I also have a bit of a flair for the melodramatic).  Thus far I've deduced that I stand a better chance over water (at least until I get eaten by sharks).  Of course if my plane was to plummet in a firey ball and nose first into the ocean then I'm fucked.  But then again, I'm probably fucked either way.  Still, it's nice to be able to pretend I'd be able to survive.  And it's morbidly comforting to also know the percentage of burns I'd be able to theoretically survive too (73%, this goes down to 72% on May 31).

7.  If a cyclone/tornado/hurricane was to come racing down my street, what are my chances of surviving it?

Slim to none.  My house would crumble around me like matchsticks and the only windowless room in the house is my walk in robe.  But luckily it's meteologically improbable that I would be subject to this occuring.

6. If velociraptors were to come racing down my street, what are my chances of keeping them out of my house?

Oddly enough, I'm apparently not the only one to think this.  I was thrilled to discover the xkcd guys also contemplate it.  And if you type "surviving a velociraptor attack" into google (if you use the toolbar you only need to type in "surviving a vel" and it automatically comes up), you get 289000 results.  Unfortunately my house has 14 potential velociraptor entry points...

5.  Why does sugarfree V taste so good?

The answer to this one is simple.  It's because it's bad for you.

4.  If an asteroid was to hit Earth and cause an ELE (Extinction Level Event) what would I do?

I've worked out that it depends on the impact the asteroid initially creates.  If it causes massive tsumani's then chances of survival are slim to none.  If it falls on my head then my chances drop to nil.  But!  If the impact site is far enough away from me and the only thing I need to worry about is a new ice age, I think I stand a chance.  And yes, I have forumlated an ice age contingency plan.  The scary thing is that I think it would actually work!

3.  What would I do if the 2012 theorist lunatics are actually right?

Pretty much screwed on this one owning to me NOT owning a bunker deep in the Australian desert, and the travel time and physical requirements needed to summit Everest if I need to move to somewhere of higher elevation.

2.  Reasons to why I should be chosen to be part of the selected population of people saved in an armageddon...

I'm not going to list them, but if I ever had to put in an application I think I'd be in with a fighting chance, especially if I was creative in listing my attributes.

And the number one random thing I think about is...

How would I transport the cat in the event of a tsunami/asteroid hitting the Earth/the next ice age/armageddon? 

This is a difficult one, and I'm still working on it.  A cat carrier wouldn't work, it would be too akward and he hates them anyway.  Thus far the only thing I can think of is strapping him to my chest and running like hell.  But I'm open to suggestions on this one.

And on that note, I'm going to see if goggle has any suggestions for transporting kitten-son.  And read up on those velociraptor websites.  And possibly start hoarding food and looking at an investment bunker in the middle of the Australian desert.  And maybe make myself some breakfast while fresh food is still available to me.  And volunteer myself to colonise Mars...

And the geek of the year award goes to...

Photo Credit: F. Lewecke via Wikimedia Commons

Why that would be me!

I've kept my inner geek hidden for years, but recently it came to my attention that:

a) suddenly it is cool to be a geek and
b) I'm 30.  I can't be bothered hiding it these days.

When I was 7 years old everybody else was declaring they would grow up to be doctors, nurses, teachers or firefighters.  I, on the other hand, was dead set on becoming an astronomer.

When I was 11 years old everybody else was watching Friends.  I was watching The X-Files and pretending to be Scully.


So now I'm 30.  I've studied science, I'm still studying science and planning on completing my phd in astronomy and I make my living as a freelance science/medical writer.  I'm batcrap crazy about Star Trek, I spend too much money buying my daughter 'bazinga' t-shirts, pyjamas with 'future starship captain' or 'mummy's little Klingon' splashed across the front of them, and I'm also oddly obsessed with buying her plush microbes (Mary the Malaria is her favourite).

I spend my days writing about 3D bioprinting, stem cell research, abdominal surgery procedures and the latest innovative healthcare trends.  I spend my nights either gazing at the stars through my telescope or watching Star Trek or The X-Files, and my weekends are spent going to trivia nights dressed up as Spock/Uhura or dragging my niece along to Comic Con with me.

I'm socially awkward.

I have a not-so-healthy level of contempt for stupidity.

I'm obsessive compulsive about a lot of things.

I get ridiculously angry over really random stuff (stupid kids "dinosaur" stickers which contain Dodo birds led to a rather impressive tantrum on my part).

I prefer my own company, and that of my daughter.

I hate crowds and I'm not a fan of people in general.

Put simply, I'm as geeky as they come.  The thing is though, I love my life.  Like really, really, really love my life.  For the most part, it's a hard concept for people to grasp because it's generally so different to how they live their lives.  But still, I'm lucky to have a wonderful group of very understanding friends who indulge my "quirks" *cough*craziness*cough*.

On that note, I think I'm going to go curl up in bed with some Original Series Star Trek, because that's how I roll ;)