How to solve an OCD related coconut water nightmare

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Half of my brain is currently sitting here thinking “I cannot believe I just did that...” while the other half is smugly congratulating itself on its effective problem solving of what (in my world) is a total freaking nightmare.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m really obsessive about certain things.  Think Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory kind of obsessive, and like him I also don’t compromise well (I also have my “spot” and if anybody sits in it, my brain almost implodes, but that’s another story).

Enter coconut water.

I love it, almost as much as I love caffeine.  But I’m incredibly picky about what coconut water I drink.  It either has to be fresh from a coconut, or in a can. And it has to be coconut water, not coconut juice. 

I used to happily drink it out of a carton, until I saw a post somewhere about a juice box that was filled with mould. The inside was covered with green slime and just looking at the photo, I wanted to go scrub myself in the shower.  The post went on to say that even the tiniest pinprick hole in the carton, would allow air in and provide a perfect place for bacteria to grow. Bye bye ever being able to look at a cardboard carton the same way again!

Last night I was desperate for some coconut water.  But alas, all the cans were gone!  All I had left was 2 little cartons which have been sitting in the fridge since I read about the green slime. After three hours (I kid you not, I wasted three hours of my life on this) of raging internal debate, I came up with a solution of how to potentially drink the coconut water without wanting to vomit at the thought of green slime.

So I poured the coconut water from the carton into a glass, spent half an hour inspecting the damn thing, then dumped in a bunch of ice cubes and took the temperature of the coconut water and maintained it for more than 20 minutes in an effort to destroy any microbes in it.

But that didn’t satisfy me, did it?  I then took the carton and dissected it. And when I say dissected, I mean that I spent a large amount of time carefully cutting and pulling it apart so I could minutely inspect every single millimetre of the inside to ensure there was nothing in the way of slime or other grossness in there.

All in all, it took me about an hour and a half to pour out, and be satisfied with, one single glass of coconut water.

Some days even I shake my head at myself...

Scientific Inaccuracy Turns Me Into a 2 Year Old...

If there is one thing that annoys the crap out of me, it's inaccurate science.  I can't even begin to describe how much it gets under my skin.  And, unfortunately for me, today the stupidity is strong in these ones (yes, I did just make an obscure Star Wars reference).

Last year I had a right little tantrum after discovering my daughters dinosaur sticker book contained dodo birds.  And when I say tantrum, I mean tantrum.  I griped on it for literally weeks.  I'm not proud to admit that my dodo tantrum exceeded my usual bitching via social media.  I actually put in a complaint to the company that made the stickers and have since boycotted them.  Why?  Because I don't want my daughter exposed to "blatant scientific inaccuracy". 

Today takes the cake though.  Too much stupidity on facebook from people, and then I came across a newspaper article talking about "Commet Ison".  I lost the plot. The combination of aforementioned stupidity plus the newspaper mistake was just too much for my poor little obsessive compulsive brain to take.

My facebook status currently looks like this:

Some peoples inability to differentiate between FACT and UNRESEARCHED OPINION infuriates me. Like makes me want to stab myself through the frontal lobe with an icepick type rage.

So, for the love of god, actually research before voicing your opinion and trying to pass it off as fact, before I rip my own face off out of sheer frustration.

And, in a first for me, I also became one of those people who leave annoying comments on articles about their grammatical errors.  I even came up with a stupid anonymous name:

I know people won't "get" it unless they're as OCD about science as I am (think Sheldon Cooper).  But right now, I do honestly want to rip my face off out of frustration.

Ugh.

Dolls vs Engineering

I came across this yesterday, and I am completely in love with it!

http://www.upworthy.com/if-3-little-girls-did-this-to-my-house-id-do-everything-i-could-to-get-them-full-rides-to-stanford

The idea is to get more girls into engineering, and you bet that I want to buy these toys for my daughter.  As the link states there are less than 3 out of 10 graduates in science, mathematics, engineering and technology.  Of those ten, you'll be lucky to find one who is an engineer. Globally women make up 11 percent of engineers, compared with the 89 percent of males in the field.

GoldieBlox hopes to change that. How?  By selling construction toys marketed to a female audience.  They aim to

 "disrupt the pink aisle and inspire the future generation of female engineers"

Power to them, and their creator Ms. Debbie Sterling, who graduated Stanford with a degree in engineering.

There are so few women in these fields.  In my first science course I was one of only two females who finished the year out, the rest were all male.  As I progressed through my studies, the male:female ratio remained similar.  My career has been similar as well, I'm surrounded by males and I'm sure the only reason why I managed to land a job as a science/medical writer was because the person who hired me was female.

While I won't push my daughter into science/engineering/mathematics/technology, I will ensure that she is exposed to it so she can make her own decision.  There are an equal number of dolls and trucks here.  As there are an equal number of Disney books and books on science topics.

I can't wait to buy her some GoldieBlox toys though, they look amazing!  (You can check them out here: http://www.goldieblox.com/collections/products)

Best. Bathrobe. Ever.

Photo Credit: Think Geek

Set phasers to AWESOME!!

Found this bathrobe on Think Geek and I've totally found my own Christmas present!

Best. Bathrobe. EVER.

View the product here:

Think Geek: Star Trek Next Generation Robes

Random Things I Think About

I wrote this way back at the start of 2011 so thought I would share it now:
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In my spare time, usually when I'm supposed to be writing or studying, I often spend hours thinking about things which in all likelihood will never happen.  But still it's good to be organised, no matter how implausible the scenario may be.  Here are the top ten things I think about when I'm supposed to be doing something productive:

10.  If I were on death row, what would be my last meal choice?

I can spend hours debating this one with myself, despite the fact that Australia has no death penalty and probably never will.  Usually I manage to eliminate all choices down to two: the pasta I had at this delightful little cafe just down from the Colosseum in Rome and a really good curry.  Of course the two are vastly different and don't go together, so I'd need to pick just one... and I never can.  What if I make the wrong choice? (This too can lead to several more hours of internal debate).

9.  What would I do if an unfriendly extraterrestrial civilisation decided to colonise Earth?

This is not as ridiculous as it seems.  A professor of Astronomy and Astrophysics actually formulated an equation to estimate the number of extraterrestrial civilisations in the Milky Way for the SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) project whereby the number of civillisations in our galaxy in which communication may be possible equals the average rate of star formation per year in our galaxy by the fraction of those stars which have planets by the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets by the fraction of those stars which have planets by the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets which actually go on to develop life at some point by the fraction of those stars which have planets by the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets which actually go on to develop life at some point and that then go on to develop intelligent life by the fraction of civillisations that develop a technology that releases detectable signs of their existence into space by the length of time for which such civillisations release detectable signals into space.

Does your brain hurt yet?  If so, this can be simplified mathematically by the Drake Equation which expresses the above so much more eloquently:

My point is, that they're out there (because if it can be proven mathematically, in my mind it becomes fact).  So who is to say they won't one day decide to go all Independence Day on our asses?  And if they do, then I firmly believe I should have a contingency plan.

Of course I usually get distracted by something else (more often than not by watching Independence Day), so I'm yet to actually formulate the aforementioned contingency plan.  But still, I feel I should have one...

8.  What are the chances of surviving a plane crash?  And is there anyway I can improve those chances?

Ok, so I watch too much Air Crash Investigation (and I'm starting to think that I also have a bit of a flair for the melodramatic).  Thus far I've deduced that I stand a better chance over water (at least until I get eaten by sharks).  Of course if my plane was to plummet in a firey ball and nose first into the ocean then I'm fucked.  But then again, I'm probably fucked either way.  Still, it's nice to be able to pretend I'd be able to survive.  And it's morbidly comforting to also know the percentage of burns I'd be able to theoretically survive too (73%, this goes down to 72% on May 31).

7.  If a cyclone/tornado/hurricane was to come racing down my street, what are my chances of surviving it?

Slim to none.  My house would crumble around me like matchsticks and the only windowless room in the house is my walk in robe.  But luckily it's meteologically improbable that I would be subject to this occuring.

6. If velociraptors were to come racing down my street, what are my chances of keeping them out of my house?

Oddly enough, I'm apparently not the only one to think this.  I was thrilled to discover the xkcd guys also contemplate it.  And if you type "surviving a velociraptor attack" into google (if you use the toolbar you only need to type in "surviving a vel" and it automatically comes up), you get 289000 results.  Unfortunately my house has 14 potential velociraptor entry points...

5.  Why does sugarfree V taste so good?

The answer to this one is simple.  It's because it's bad for you.

4.  If an asteroid was to hit Earth and cause an ELE (Extinction Level Event) what would I do?

I've worked out that it depends on the impact the asteroid initially creates.  If it causes massive tsumani's then chances of survival are slim to none.  If it falls on my head then my chances drop to nil.  But!  If the impact site is far enough away from me and the only thing I need to worry about is a new ice age, I think I stand a chance.  And yes, I have forumlated an ice age contingency plan.  The scary thing is that I think it would actually work!

3.  What would I do if the 2012 theorist lunatics are actually right?

Pretty much screwed on this one owning to me NOT owning a bunker deep in the Australian desert, and the travel time and physical requirements needed to summit Everest if I need to move to somewhere of higher elevation.

2.  Reasons to why I should be chosen to be part of the selected population of people saved in an armageddon...

I'm not going to list them, but if I ever had to put in an application I think I'd be in with a fighting chance, especially if I was creative in listing my attributes.

And the number one random thing I think about is...

How would I transport the cat in the event of a tsunami/asteroid hitting the Earth/the next ice age/armageddon? 

This is a difficult one, and I'm still working on it.  A cat carrier wouldn't work, it would be too akward and he hates them anyway.  Thus far the only thing I can think of is strapping him to my chest and running like hell.  But I'm open to suggestions on this one.

And on that note, I'm going to see if goggle has any suggestions for transporting kitten-son.  And read up on those velociraptor websites.  And possibly start hoarding food and looking at an investment bunker in the middle of the Australian desert.  And maybe make myself some breakfast while fresh food is still available to me.  And volunteer myself to colonise Mars...

And the geek of the year award goes to...

Photo Credit: F. Lewecke via Wikimedia Commons

Why that would be me!

I've kept my inner geek hidden for years, but recently it came to my attention that:

a) suddenly it is cool to be a geek and
b) I'm 30.  I can't be bothered hiding it these days.

When I was 7 years old everybody else was declaring they would grow up to be doctors, nurses, teachers or firefighters.  I, on the other hand, was dead set on becoming an astronomer.

When I was 11 years old everybody else was watching Friends.  I was watching The X-Files and pretending to be Scully.


So now I'm 30.  I've studied science, I'm still studying science and planning on completing my phd in astronomy and I make my living as a freelance science/medical writer.  I'm batcrap crazy about Star Trek, I spend too much money buying my daughter 'bazinga' t-shirts, pyjamas with 'future starship captain' or 'mummy's little Klingon' splashed across the front of them, and I'm also oddly obsessed with buying her plush microbes (Mary the Malaria is her favourite).

I spend my days writing about 3D bioprinting, stem cell research, abdominal surgery procedures and the latest innovative healthcare trends.  I spend my nights either gazing at the stars through my telescope or watching Star Trek or The X-Files, and my weekends are spent going to trivia nights dressed up as Spock/Uhura or dragging my niece along to Comic Con with me.

I'm socially awkward.

I have a not-so-healthy level of contempt for stupidity.

I'm obsessive compulsive about a lot of things.

I get ridiculously angry over really random stuff (stupid kids "dinosaur" stickers which contain Dodo birds led to a rather impressive tantrum on my part).

I prefer my own company, and that of my daughter.

I hate crowds and I'm not a fan of people in general.

Put simply, I'm as geeky as they come.  The thing is though, I love my life.  Like really, really, really love my life.  For the most part, it's a hard concept for people to grasp because it's generally so different to how they live their lives.  But still, I'm lucky to have a wonderful group of very understanding friends who indulge my "quirks" *cough*craziness*cough*.

On that note, I think I'm going to go curl up in bed with some Original Series Star Trek, because that's how I roll ;)