The second worst kept secret in the universe is that I absolutely loathe arachnids. To the point that my hatred of them extends to loathing crabs because they have similar leg joints and move in a similar fashion.
This is an issue, given that I live in Australia where arachnids are plentiful and seriously effing scary. They also refuse to die. No joke, these things are like Superman - faster than speeding bullets, and immune to everything bar Kryptonite.
Last night I discovered a huge whitetail on my bathroom door. After some mild hysteria, I managed to get my crap together long enough to grab the bug spray. And when I say bug spray, I mean industrial strength, fast kill bug spray which is marketed as rendering any form of insect or arachnid dead with one small spray. Clearly this was not developed in Australia, because it was utterly useless in killing the filthy arachnid.
So I stood there spraying it, and shrieking "DIE ARACHNID, DIE! HE TASKS ME! HE TASKS ME! FROM HELL'S HEART I STAB AT THEE!"
Yes. I decided that quoting Wrath of Khan while attempting to exterminate it would be more effective.
It was not.
I used the remaining spray in the can on it, and it was still moving. Specifically, it was still moving towards me.
Eventually it met its demise, thanks to the aid of a thong (flip flop for non-Aussie readers). And the lesson in all of this? Don't waste time quoting Star Trek at arachnids. It doesn't kill them quicker, and it actually seems to piss them off more than anything else.
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